Suddenly, Everyone Wants My Body

So, a while back a psychologist friend quoted to me a study which basically proved that most of the time, when a woman notices a man looking at her, she feels self-conscious, whereas when a man notices a female looking at him, he concludes, "she wants my body."

Yes, ladies, when you look at some guy, thinking, "Should I tell him he has mustard stains on his face?" he probably thinks you are checking him out.

My psychologist friend (again, sorry I don't have any quotes for this information) said that's probably the reason that men often have a higher level of self-confidence than women do.

Certainly, I could see how thinking "everyone is judging me" is bad for self-confidence, whereas thinking "everyone wants my body" could be good for self-confidence.

This concept came back to me recently when I broke my foot, and was on crutches. Suddenly everywhere I went, people were staring at me, and it made me very self-conscious. I started to feel judged and defensive. So I thought back to the psychologist, and decided instead to interpret each stare as, "he/she/they want my body". (To be truly egalitarian, I didn't limit it to just the opposite sex)

Yes indeed, this IS a morale booster! Since all the interaction happens inside your head, it's way more fun to choose "they want my body" over "they are staring because I'm disabled."

Sometimes the results are flattering (hot young guy staring at the cast on my foot - oh yeah, he wants me). Sometimes the results are disturbing (6 year old boy staring at me open-mouthed). Sometimes the results are just hilariously inappropriate (a trio of suburban moms pushing baby carriages all look at me as I struggle with a set of stairs).

I've decided to adopt this new, self-confident worldview whenever I start to feel self-conscious about my visible limitations. And I'd encourage anyone who has a visible disability to try this perspective out for a week and see how it feel.

Those stares at your wheelchair.....oh yeah, they want a sweet ride like that!
The long looks at your cane and braces...... Pure Lust!
Feeling self-conscious at the gym because you're not one of the low-body-fat elite? ..... Tell yourself they all want your body, and get on that treadmill and flaunt it!
And the way that people pointedly turn away or refuse to make eye contact due to your impairments? ..... it's jealousy! They can't face your sexiness!

Try it out, and see if it changes your mood.